My mother died Feb. 3, 2016. That I dealt with fine. I didn't do as
well with the surviving family, the pain-in-my-ass attorney/conservator
Sarah Malia and a smattering of insensitive friends. Tasked with writing
her obit, because I'm "the writer in the family," I honored my mother's
wishes and wrote something not "Old, stupid and depressing."
My family, the sensitive "good Baptists" on her side, and the "rednecks who ignored her after the divorce" on my father's side won't appreciate it, but tough shit. I cannot afford (who can) to have it posted in any public obituary service, let alone in The Knoxville News Sentinel, who charges an arm and your first born for a 50-word obit (48 cents per word if the funeral home submits the obit, 75 cents per word if the family submits it, PLUS a $31 "set-up" fee) WTF? So I'm posting it here, not that any of her surviving friends are on social media, but many of mine are. Yes. It's real. She LOVED her nickname "Wild Betty" and would often enter a room and announce, "Wild Betty's here. The party can start now."
For all her mommy dearest moments, she was still my mother and this is still how, I believe, she wanted to be remembered:
Originally from Miami, FL Betty did not bowl, knit, or belong to any organizations that involved crap like meetings, rules, and stuffiness. She loved a good game of bingo, scratch lottery tickets, sunsets, cheesecake in particular, food in general, old friends and good times. She abhorred boredom. She loved the beach, the feel of sand between her toes, a good bottle of wine or two, a plate of brie and crackers and cigarettes — at least until her quadruple bypass surgery when her doctor was able to convince her to “give that shit up.” She liked eating outside on the patio, grilling out, television, and chick flick movies — in particular Dr. Zhivago and Message in a Bottle.
Had she lived until Feb. 6, Betty would have outlived her pedodondist “the bastard” ex-husband, Horace Dewey “Stretch” Blanton by exactly ten years. His redneck side of the family, except for her brother-in-law the late Robert Blanton, and her niece Eve Blanton, ignored her after the divorce, so to them she said to give them the finger one last time. Sorry guys. It’s true.
Besides a life strewn with dysfunction, fun, memories, two very talented children, and not much in the way of property because she wasn’t really materialistic, she leaves behind several purple feather boas, a red hat, and her cat Dolly who will remain at the River Oaks Place nursing facility where she slept at Betty’s side for several years. As far as we know Wild Betty took her sense of humor and her unique and charismatic personality to heaven with her. Although she rarely darkened the door of a church because of her residential status in the nursing home, she was still a born again Christian and in the parlance of a true Southern Baptist she has, “gone to be with the Lord.”
She is survived by her eldest and only daughter, “the smart one,” Rebecca “Becky” Blanton, of Charlottesville, VA; her only son, “the good looking and smart one,” Todd Randal Blanton, of Ft. Myers Florida; her grandson Nicholas Fendig, granddaughters Samantha Fendig, and Taran O’Grady; grand-daughter Sophie O’Grady, and grandson Bentley Bradford. She is also survived by her younger sister Frances Culler of High Point, NC, and preceded in death by Fran’s husband Odell Culler. She is also survived by her niece Joni Culler Hounshell and Joni’s husband Dr. Paul Hounshell, her nephew Jeffrey and Rhonda Culler and their many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Wild Betty graduated cum laude from the University of Tennessee with a degree in Political Science after starting college in her 40s and attending one to two classes per quarter until she “knocked that bad boy out,” and had a better GPA than “Stretch,” just to annoy him. She was a sorority mother for a Vanderbilt Sorority while in Nashville before starting law school. She said her Vanderbilt girls knew how to party, and she loved them for it. After her divorce she worked as an aide for Governor Lamar Alexander, and as an editor for the senate of the State of Tennessee keeping misplaced commas, sentence fragments and split infinitives from ruining the legislative prose of Tennessee’s new bills.
She attended the YMCA Night Law School in Nashville, TN but did not graduate. She later moved back to Knoxville, and worked for the City of Knoxville’s zoning department. She loved a good political debate, the serial comma, being spoiled, and the attention of intelligent men.
She was best known for her sweet tea, her sense of humor, twinkling eyes, warm laugh, her charismatic personality, and her love of flirting, men, and dinner parties. There will be no public viewing as Wild Betty said she didn’t want people’s last memory of her to be of her “lying in a casket, looking old, with wrinkles and no glass in her hand. People,” she said, “can be cruelly critical of the dead.”
She was cremated and her ashes will be sprinkled in a lake in North Carolina in a private “Celebration of Life” party with family in the spring. In lieu of sending flowers, she asked that those who want to “do something,” to honor her donate to their favorite charity in the name of “Wild Betty” or to throw a party and embrace the ones they love while they still can. Don’t be cheap. She’s watching.
My family, the sensitive "good Baptists" on her side, and the "rednecks who ignored her after the divorce" on my father's side won't appreciate it, but tough shit. I cannot afford (who can) to have it posted in any public obituary service, let alone in The Knoxville News Sentinel, who charges an arm and your first born for a 50-word obit (48 cents per word if the funeral home submits the obit, 75 cents per word if the family submits it, PLUS a $31 "set-up" fee) WTF? So I'm posting it here, not that any of her surviving friends are on social media, but many of mine are. Yes. It's real. She LOVED her nickname "Wild Betty" and would often enter a room and announce, "Wild Betty's here. The party can start now."
For all her mommy dearest moments, she was still my mother and this is still how, I believe, she wanted to be remembered:
OBITUARY FOR BETTY JEAN BLANTON
Wild Betty is dead. Betty Jean Blanton, a young and spirited 85 years of age, of Knoxville, TN, passed away February 3, 2016 of natural causes at Park West Hospital with her son Todd Randal Blanton at her side. A tough old bird, it took sepsis, pneumonia, and a nine-diagnosis list of complications and age to pull her down.Originally from Miami, FL Betty did not bowl, knit, or belong to any organizations that involved crap like meetings, rules, and stuffiness. She loved a good game of bingo, scratch lottery tickets, sunsets, cheesecake in particular, food in general, old friends and good times. She abhorred boredom. She loved the beach, the feel of sand between her toes, a good bottle of wine or two, a plate of brie and crackers and cigarettes — at least until her quadruple bypass surgery when her doctor was able to convince her to “give that shit up.” She liked eating outside on the patio, grilling out, television, and chick flick movies — in particular Dr. Zhivago and Message in a Bottle.
Had she lived until Feb. 6, Betty would have outlived her pedodondist “the bastard” ex-husband, Horace Dewey “Stretch” Blanton by exactly ten years. His redneck side of the family, except for her brother-in-law the late Robert Blanton, and her niece Eve Blanton, ignored her after the divorce, so to them she said to give them the finger one last time. Sorry guys. It’s true.
Besides a life strewn with dysfunction, fun, memories, two very talented children, and not much in the way of property because she wasn’t really materialistic, she leaves behind several purple feather boas, a red hat, and her cat Dolly who will remain at the River Oaks Place nursing facility where she slept at Betty’s side for several years. As far as we know Wild Betty took her sense of humor and her unique and charismatic personality to heaven with her. Although she rarely darkened the door of a church because of her residential status in the nursing home, she was still a born again Christian and in the parlance of a true Southern Baptist she has, “gone to be with the Lord.”
She is survived by her eldest and only daughter, “the smart one,” Rebecca “Becky” Blanton, of Charlottesville, VA; her only son, “the good looking and smart one,” Todd Randal Blanton, of Ft. Myers Florida; her grandson Nicholas Fendig, granddaughters Samantha Fendig, and Taran O’Grady; grand-daughter Sophie O’Grady, and grandson Bentley Bradford. She is also survived by her younger sister Frances Culler of High Point, NC, and preceded in death by Fran’s husband Odell Culler. She is also survived by her niece Joni Culler Hounshell and Joni’s husband Dr. Paul Hounshell, her nephew Jeffrey and Rhonda Culler and their many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Wild Betty graduated cum laude from the University of Tennessee with a degree in Political Science after starting college in her 40s and attending one to two classes per quarter until she “knocked that bad boy out,” and had a better GPA than “Stretch,” just to annoy him. She was a sorority mother for a Vanderbilt Sorority while in Nashville before starting law school. She said her Vanderbilt girls knew how to party, and she loved them for it. After her divorce she worked as an aide for Governor Lamar Alexander, and as an editor for the senate of the State of Tennessee keeping misplaced commas, sentence fragments and split infinitives from ruining the legislative prose of Tennessee’s new bills.
She attended the YMCA Night Law School in Nashville, TN but did not graduate. She later moved back to Knoxville, and worked for the City of Knoxville’s zoning department. She loved a good political debate, the serial comma, being spoiled, and the attention of intelligent men.
She was best known for her sweet tea, her sense of humor, twinkling eyes, warm laugh, her charismatic personality, and her love of flirting, men, and dinner parties. There will be no public viewing as Wild Betty said she didn’t want people’s last memory of her to be of her “lying in a casket, looking old, with wrinkles and no glass in her hand. People,” she said, “can be cruelly critical of the dead.”
She was cremated and her ashes will be sprinkled in a lake in North Carolina in a private “Celebration of Life” party with family in the spring. In lieu of sending flowers, she asked that those who want to “do something,” to honor her donate to their favorite charity in the name of “Wild Betty” or to throw a party and embrace the ones they love while they still can. Don’t be cheap. She’s watching.
I grew up on the Great Egg Harbor,in South Jersey.We had boats long before we had cars.My first boat was a 'lap strake' dory.The 'sunfish' type of sail boat can be easily handled by any novice.A few pointers,and you can sail that day.A tiller,a boom ( mast) and a sail,ancient technology that got the earliest mariners across the World's oceans thousands of years ago.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I want to sail the Great Loop, and will need a larger boat! I did get certified to sail, but am looking for experience.
DeleteNow I know how Wild Becky got to be who she is. Your Mom was quite a character. I wish I had met her. Hell, Becky, I wish I'd meet you! Jack
ReplyDeleteThanks Jack! We'll meet!
Delete